Category Archives: The First Essential Scary Truth



Resistance Is Futile


Killing Jimmy Hoffa


5 Bands/Artists I Don’t Need or Want to Hear Anymore


The Worst Lyrics Ever?


An LA Panic Attack By Guest Blogger Nathan Wellman


Free Foxy Cuda!


In The Year 1294


The Secret Of The Jews Immortality


What The Hell Were They Thinking By Guest Blogger Kiko Jones


NFL Replacement Refs: Blaming The Victim


#Eastwooding – It’s Not What You Think By Guest Blogger Liz Georges


Dave Mustaine Hates Obama On Foreign Soil


Committing Adultery On G-d


Incinerating Chivalry


A Public Service Announcement From Guest Blogger Liz Georges


The Method Kills


Killed By The C.I.A. With Deli Meat


Michigan Man Burns The Jersey State Flag And John Basilone Smiles


The 2nd Worst Drug Dealer In America


Health Fascists Take Over Voyuerism


The Detroit Media Is Lazy On Alan Trammell


The Celebrity Copycat


Proselytizing Atheists


Fluoride Tattoos And Teeth


The Inevitable Codicil To Murphy’s Law


Lou Reed’s LuLu Calms The Savage Corgi


Sarkozy Joins The Resistance


Ride The Backlash: Guest Blogger Kiko Jones Reviews Lou Reed and Metallica’s Lulu


Back To The Future With Private Mortgage Lending


Goodbye To My Ray’s Pizza


Bob Turner Loves The Jews


Jerry Della Femina And The 1993 World Trade Center Bombing


But It’s Cash


Debt On The Retail Plan Or Why Jews Don’t Run The Country


Is There A Green Leaf On My Teeth


No MillerCoors Beer In Minnesota


The Health Nazi’s Are In My Home


Beware: The Federal Government Has Decided To Help Detroit


Delta And Saudi Arabian Airlines Partner Up And Everyone Freaks Out


A Guide For Canadians On How To Stage A Proper Riot


Killing Charlotte On The Cheap Redux


Weiner and Breitbart Make Monday Fun


Preparation B – Comment By Zola System Reader SGZ


Is Bloomberg To Blame?


Neo Nazi Shot By Son


Schutzhund Part 1 – A Guest Blog From Janethegreat


Meeting Iggy Pop


The Shylock Business – My Fallback Position


Midgets and Guns Redux


Almost There


They Aren’t Locking Their Doors In Brooklyn Heights


Stop Me If You’ve Heard This Before By Guest Blogger The Loser


The End Of The 40 Year Old Bartender Redux


Charlie Sheen To Play George S. Patton Jr.?


A Thong For San Gennaro


We’re Here For You


What’s A G-String?


Is The Beverage Cart Still In Play?


Chili’s Bar And Grill Wants You Dead


Regress And The Rabbit Redux


15 Guitar Player In 15 Minutes From Guest Blogger Liz Emrich


The Mars Bar Saved Me From Jury Duty


Matt Millen, I Challenge You To A Duel


35 Years Ago…


New Airport Scanners


The Soda Pop Wars – From Guest Blogger Sreeny Cherukuri


The Che Guevara of Bartending


…Had The Balls To Say It


Germany Ends Multiculturalism. The French Are Nervous.


Tiki Barber and Agent Penis – From CelebrityNameDroppers.Com


New Song Titles For The Baby Boomers


15 Albums In 15 Minutes – From Guest Blogger LeAndrew Taylor


15 Songs In 15 Minutes By Guest Blogger The Legendary Dennis “Machine Gun” Thompson


My Favorite 15 Albums In 15 Minutes – By Guest Blogger Liz Emrich


Tinted Windows, Sex Toys and Traffic Stops


The People’s Republic of Arizona?


My Favorite 15 Albums (This Week) In 15 Minutes


Killing Charlotte On The Cheap


Murder in the Service Industry


A Random Thought For A Sunday Afternoon


Happy 234 USA!


Just Like Cockroaches and Twinkies


Injecting Greatness Gets You the Chicks


The Tragically Hip Invent Guerilla Theatre


Denise Allard and DTE Can Save Us From Global Warming!


Did Reagan Plagiarize the Old Man?


Knocking Up A Martini


Busted!


The Light at the End of the Tunnel


Zola System Readers Top 3 Truly Terrible Drinks


9 Truly Terrible Things To Drink – By Guest Blogger janethegreat


Junkiedom Will Be Served


Mark McGwire Was Just Following Orders


My Top 10 Bars/Clubs In NYC That Are Lost To The Ages


Topic of Discussion


I Am A Quantum Criminal


Getting Back At The Man – Sorta


Is the Babysitter Finally Unmasked?


The Proper Way To Place A Bet


I Blame Lou Reed


It’s Back…………………


Stealing Signs – So What?


The Zola System Needs Some Love


I Am An Asshole


New York’s Online Poker Clubs


A Brief History of Snarky Redux


Her Booty Call, Not His


Busted With Green Phlegm On Black Pants


Fascism In The Bathroom


The Dumpling Breaks Her Jaw


Fucking Up in Reverse


Thoughts About Detroit


Midgets and Guns


Why I Didn’t Catch On With the Mets


The Death of Rock and Roll, Again


Left to Die in DC


Break-up and Murder Brought to You by Facebook


The Sarge Runs The Coup


Rats


41 Mojitos


Say Nice Things About Detroit


The Telescope is 400 Years Old


Downers Hit New Yorkers


The Vindication of Spiro T. Agnew


Kissing Lots of Frogs


In Search of the Proper Manhattan


A Message to His Friends


A Stay of Execution – from Guest Blogger Brian James


Now I Get It


Shoddy Construction and the Average New Yorker


A Rumble in Times Square


The End of the New York Tabloids?


There Are Such Things As Stupid Questions


Darwin Leaves New York


The Definition of Insanity


Who Do We Notice? From Guest Blogger janethegrt


Grooming Standards


Where Is A Buddhist Monk When You Need One?


Do As I Say, Not As I Do


Kwame Kilpatrick – The Worst Mayor In America Goes To Jail – FINALLY


Once Upon a Time In 1976 – By Guest Blogger ElGringo


Regress and the Rabbit


A Brief History of Snarky


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