Say Nice Things About Detroit

The First Essential Scary Truth

I  am sick of hearing US Senators, people who have never been there or just plain bozos from Jersey who turn State’s Evidence when they get a traffic ticket, deride my hometown.  Seriously, it is driving me insane.  The voice in my head said I had to silence these people who think Detroiters are only morons in five button suits and Kangol hats who lie on the stand and leave a trail hundreds of text messages so they can be caught.

Two members of the infamous Purple Gang were at my bris and bar mitzvah.  I have survived on the Lower East Side of New York for 21 years and a Navy SEAL taught me how to shoot this summer.  I mean business.  Just to make sure, however, I went to see Taxi Driver  on the big screen and a Charles Bronson film festival this weekend.  I am ready.

Top of the world Ma!

Just do it or else next time, it’s a golden retriever puppy.