The Zola System

The Best of the Zola System

I may prefer asses but show me a great pair of tits and things like this happen.

Have a Happy Independence Day!

Alex and I are sitting in cozy chairs with our friend Jessica, a visiting psychologist from the Midwest, continuing a conversation begun on SexyPrime.

He has just confessed to her breasts that he does enjoy spanking women.  No more ambivalent shrugs and protestations that he’s only supplying kink for women.  The truth, at last. 

I am still not satisfied because I want to know what the alpha women Zola has spanked see in this beta male.  Alex doesn’t have a good answer for that.  Jessica gives the standard shrink response—all about control and power exchanges.  The conversation moves forward.

Jessica says, “There are four types of male personalities.”

I groan inwardly.  This sounds like a Cosmo piece.  There are always four personality types—and never the same four.   

“Some men are supplicating.  They need to be liked so much that their behavior is always saying, like me, like me.  Combative men believe they are better than everybody and are right.  Competitive men play every game to win.  Cooperative men—the most desirable personality type—know when and how to compete in a healthy way as well as negotiate.”

And Zola is?

“Alternately supplicating and combative,” he says, a very objective self-analysis, a confession made possible by his total fixation on Jessica’s breasts.  

I see continual evidence of these personality traits in Zola, but what I don’t see is how they relate to our question at hand:  What does the alpha woman see in him or any other beta male?

But Zola runs with the concept.  He looks at me and says:

“I did it again the other night.  After promising you and my mother that I would never go into the Loser Bar again—I did.”

Why?

“My Loser Bar post has become the talk of Gramercy pubs.  There’s been a lot of speculation about which bar is the real Loser Bar.  I’ve felt a chill in the air at more than one pub lately although they willingly took my drink money.  Word got back to me that the characters of the Loser Bar piece were outraged.

“Like a schmuck, I had to go in there.”

What happened?

“The bartender pulled the piece up on his blackberry, dragged me outside and said, ‘What the hell is this!  What do you think you’re doing!  You realize you’re gutting the owner!’

“And I found myself promising him I would go home, pull the piece down and look at making some changes.”

I yell at Alex, discreetly, of course, because we are in public.  Why would you make such a promise?  You’re a writer—and writers write the truth as they know it; they don’t apologize.  (We may charm and betray, but we don’t apologize for it.)

“I realize that half my personality is supplicating.  I’m like me/like me/like me.”  He smiles winningly at Jessica’s breasts.  “The other half of my personality is…”

“Purely combative.” I say, in the spirit of the annoying kid in class who has to give the answer first.  “How many times have you told me you’re a better writer than fill-in-the-blank?  Mean-spirited person that I am, I usually remind you:  They are widely published and you are not.”

“That’s why some people call me an asshole.”

Laughing, Jessica says, “I give you credit for recognizing this about yourself.”

It’s a very recent realization, fueled by continual nagging by guess who.  Jessica tells us about a client who was traumatized when he recognized himself as a supplicating personality. 

“It’s a hard thing for anyone to know, but especially for a man.” 

Yes.  Women are socialized to be supplicating.  Men are not.  Not even beta males. 

“It’s not unusual for a man to shift from supplicating to combative,” she says.  “That means he is lacking balance in his life.  People don’t know how to respond to him or how to work with him.”

Yeah.  The Zola is unbalanced—a character trait definitely more charming if you are not working with him.  I’ve learned that I cannot count on him to do what we agree must be done in our projects; and I’ve lost time and money because of that. 

While they switch the conversation back to kinky sex, I wonder:  Is this state of unbalance what makes him a beta male?  Would women find him such a spanking artist if he were working productively all the time?

“I had a girlfriend who was a car freak.  She wanted to conduct the rough foreplay in rental cars—parked on city streets.   Then I returned the car and took her home and fucked the shit out of her,” he tells Jessica who laughs appreciatively.

If women are looking for safe kink, do they instinctively know that the beta male is the provider of best choice?

Perhaps I have figured it out.  This is what the alpha woman sees in the beta male: a controlling hand that ultimately she controls.  Talk about topping from the bottom.

Check out the beginning of our conversation on Susan Crain Bakos’ blog SexyPrime - http://sexyprime.typepad.com/sexyprime/2009/05/zola-confesses-to-a-pair-of-sumptuous-breasts-sex-money-and-lies-the-conversations.html