New Song Titles For The Baby Boomers

The First Essential Scary Truth

The Baby Boomers are the generation that has defined much of the past sixty years of the American Experiment. Rock and Roll, realistic film, HBO, the celebrity star-fucking culture have all been pointed by marketing departments to garner that baby boomer dollar.

However, as the boomers reach 60, 70 etc., the upper end of the generation who once screamed “don’t trust anyone over 30” is now looking for proper rest homes. The song lyrics that served as the poetry of this generational group has become somewhat silly and out of date. Pete Townsend, the man who wrote “hope I die before I get old” will soon be saying “hope I die before I need Depends.”

In that vein, a Zola System reader passed on these song titles she feels need some updating.

Herman’s Hermits Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Walker

Ringo Starr I Get By With A Little Help From Depends

The Bee Gees — – How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?

Roberta Flack The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash I CAN’T See Clearly Now .

Paul Simon Fifty Ways To Lose YourLiver

The Commodores Once, Twice, 3 Times To The Bathroom

Procol Harum A Whiter S hade Of Hair

Leo Sayer You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations Papa’s Got A Kidney Stone

Abba Denture Queen

Helen Reddy I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Lesley Gore It’s My Hormones & I’ll Cry If I Want To

Willie Nelson On the Commode Again

Makes me wonder what the new song titles for the aging punk rock generation will be: (My Granddaughter) Sheena is a Punk Rocker?

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