The First Essential Scary Truth

The following is a true story that occurred a few years back in a now defunct Midtown restaurant. No names have been mentioned because everyone is guilty as hell.

“No.” The suit said. “I asked for a Stoli Gold on the rocks.”

The bartender held up the Stoli Gold bottle. “Yes sir. You wanted Stoli Gold and I poured it from this bottle.”

“That’s not Stoli Gold.”

”Of course it’s Stoli Gold my man.”

“Trust me, it’s not.” The Suit said. He shook his head.

“I poured from the Stoli Gold bottle. How could it not be Stoli Gold,” the bartender said.

“Because it’s not Stoli Gold.”

What had started out as a funny little conversation has now gotten on the bartender’s nerves. He decided to end this Marx Brothers routine. Your palate is that advanced that you can tell the difference between Vodkas, huh asshole. I’ll get ya’.

“How do you know it’s not Stoli Gold, my man?”

The suit reached into left breast pocket, took out a business card. “Because I’m the V.P. for Stolichnaya in North America and we haven’t used that label in five years.”

The entire dinner was on the house per the barman.

The next morning, the barman found 3 cases of Stoli and 3 cases of Stoli Gold outside of his office and a lovely note from the VP for Stolichnaya in North America. The letter thanked the barman for his comped dinner. It went to say just how much he and his wife loved their food; the wine the barman selected was perfect for the meal etc.

“I hope these 6 cases of Stoli and Stoli Gold are in someway helpful to you and your bartenders. Do me a favor: in the future, load up someone else’s bottles.”

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