But It’s Cash
The First Essential Scary Truth
Last week I found myself at the doctor’s office to have my left ear cleared of a nasty wax build up. As I am in the middle of changing my health insurance, I paid cash. Dr. Larry charged me $40 for the office visit and ear cleaning procedure combined. The guy next to me had Blue Cross, a monthly payment of hundreds of dollars and the poor bastard still had to fork over a $35 co-pay.
Cash is king. An old saying that remains as true today as it was back in 1811. And with the advent of the ATM in the 1970’s, no one had to go wait in line at the bank Monday-Friday to withdraw a budgeted amount for a few days/weekend whatever. The bank teller was mounted in a wall and was available 24/7. However going to the ATM in the middle of the night on the Lower East Side or Beverly Hills or Topeka could be dangerous. Scumbags galore seemed to gravitate to the vestibules and drive-thru’s. Walking/driving in or out of an unguarded with a pocket full of $20’s remained an exercise in danger for many.
In an attempt to decrease the danger involved with simply going to an ATM, some bank geek somewhere came up with the idea of the Debit Card. Thanks to the wonders of wireless technology, all a person has to do is present a bank card with either a Visa or MasterCard logo and as if by magic the fee for whatever item is automatically deducted from your checking account. A win/win moment for consumers, merchants and bankers alike: banks charged fees for account maintenance, transactions etc. Merchants don’t have to do night drops or keep large amounts of cash on hand and consumers no longer have to worry about having cash on hand. It’s all in the ether these days.
There are a few drawbacks, however. People regularly overdraw their bank accounts acquiring new fees they can barely pay. Plus the lack of actually seeing the greenbacks has allowed basic cash handling skills to fall by the wayside. When training a new bartender, server or cashier they have to be shown the proper way to count cash even if the bills came right from the bank, why the cash must never be out of sight if it’s not in the register or safe. A brave new world has arrived but common sense seems to have gone by the wayside.
Yesterday I went to one of the few Irish bars in this Scottish themed town for a Guinness and shot of Redbreast 12 Year Old Irish whisky. I left $3 as tip on the edge of the rail. “What do I do with this,” the barmaid asked.
“That’s your tip. Put it in the tip jar,” I replied.
That statement prompted a long discussion between over what to do with the cash. After a few minutes of pigeon metaphorical talk, I asked the ladies if they pooled their tips.
“No. We all keep what we make,” the barmaid said.
“So what’s the problem,” I wondered.
“Well it’s cash,” she said.
The second our Groucho-Chico routine concluded I had a moment of epiphany: bright lights, angelic harps and James Brown asking me if I can see the light. The Great Recession. I get it.
Ads
Denizens of the Zola System
- A Visual Identity
- Ashley Morris
- Clip It Baby
- CNN
- Dennis Machinegun Thompson
- Detroit Free Press
- Detroit News
- e3 Your LIfe
- Fox News
- Henry Mena
- Hollywood Gem
- Jewish World Review
- Jimmy Fallon
- Mick Farren
- New York Daily News
- New York Post
- New York Times
- Open Salon
- Sacred Fools Theatre
- Scoop Momma
- Skip Williamson
- SPIN Magazine
- The Blacklisted Journalist
- The Choke
- The Financially Troubled Arizona Republic
- The Los Angeles Times
- The Nearly Famous Barry Young Show
- The Purple Gang
- The Wall Street Journal
- The Washington Post
- The Washington Times
Categories
- Alpha Female/Beta Male
- Assholes Anonymous
- Character Sundays
- Detroit Stories
- G-d's Guide To Home Appliance Repair and Sports Betting
- How Drunk Do You Have To Be To Get The Joke?
- Jimmy Fallon
- Overheard in a Los Angeles Bar
- Overheard in a New York Bar
- Overheard on the Subway
- Post Urban Culture
- Quotes from How To Fix a Horserace
- Rachel Kramer Bussel
- Skip Williamson
- Sleaze Culture
- The Best of the Zola System
- The Con
- The Core Belief
- The First Essential Scary Truth
- The Magic Bullet Theory
- The Martini Chronicles
- The Second Essential Scary Truth
- The Street Hustle
- The Summer Of 1992
- The Zola System In Action
- The Zola System On The Road
- Uncategorized
- What's in Your Fridge?
Archives
- February 2017
- May 2016
- May 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- March 2014
- January 2014
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008