Downers Hit New Yorkers

The First Essential Scary Truth

The New York Post was at one time so trashy, Tim Kazurinsky had his own segment on Saturday Night Live’s Nightly News segment.  He would hold up various covers and generally goof on Rupert Murdoch, the owner and publisher of the Post. 

That was in the early ‘80’s, the so-called ‘Go-Go ‘80’s.’  Up until September, I was sure those days had returned.  Not because of anything the published by the tabloids.  Honestly, they’ve become rather boring, kind of like New York.  No, it was because of the rise of cocaine.  Even in the fine dining segment of bartending, I had to deal with all kinds of knuckleheads going into the bathroom and returning with the tell tale bit of white powder left under each nostril.  On dates, during service, whenever, it seemed the whole town wanted to make as much cash as possible and was determined to stay awake to do it.

This, however, was in my favorite trashy tabloid on Monday.

Nervous New Yorkers are popping more pills.

Prescriptions for anti-anxiety drugs, anti-depressants and sleep aids are surging as residents struggle with the economic crisis, Crain’s New York Business reports.

“If we looked to diagnose the city, I’d say it has an anxiety disorder,” psychotherapist Dr. Mel Schwartz told the weekly.

In September and October, sleep-aid prescriptions reportedly rose by more than 7 percent, to 366,870, compared with those months in 2007.

So much for the amphetamine fueled first decade of the new millennium.  Everybody has switched to downers and I won’t have to wipe snot off of the back of toilets anymore.  That is a good thing; drunk assholes are always easier to deal with when they are whacked out their minds on depressants.  Now if the Post will only get trashy again.

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