The Obama Condom

The Second Essential Scary Truth

There is a new rage in prophylactics.  Not a Trojan or the nameless brands to be found in the local Circle K, bodega or 7-11.  No, this condom brand comes with great tag lines and instant name recognition and a picture of a warm smile we’ve all grown to know all so well.  Yes, some enterprising comedian with an obvious Bill Gates by way of PT Barnum jones has seen fit to give us the Obama Condom.

Yes, for a few dollars you too can own ‘the ultimate stimulus package’ or the ‘use with good judgment’ rubber.  (For those on the right side of the aisle, the Obama Condom website also offers McCain Condoms and Palin ‘abortion is not an option’ condoms.)  Now, I understand there are those who may be offended by this tweak at the sitting President of the United States.  Perhaps it isn’t the jerking around (ha, ha) of the President that bothers you but the obvious disrespect of the same high office once occupied by Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, TR, Truman, Kennedy, Reagan etc.

Get over it.

Although this does come close to the line of good taste, legislating taste is a waste of time.  If bad taste were truly a felony, the creators of Jersey Shore and Mob Wives would be awaiting execution.  No, this is a product utterly covered by the protections of the First Amendment, which I believe is the one provision in the Constitution that the Founding Father’s meant to be taken literally.

However, according to the New York Post, Mayor Bloomberg has a different position.

Thomas Jefferson and his pals could never have envisioned this legal battle when they wrote the Bill of Rights: Does the First Amendment cover a street vendor’s right to sell condoms in wrappers bearing the president’s image?

José Andujar, 43, was busted last Friday in Times Square for selling his “Obama” condoms — his third arrest in a year for unlicensed peddling, cops said.

The arrest came despite a State Supreme Court justice ruling that his rubbers are protected by the Constitution’s guarantee of free speech.

The decision said that the condom wrappers should be treated like books, which do not require a vending license.

The city vowed to continue to bust Andujar pending the outcome of an appeal.

Andujar titillates tourists with his slick sales pitch: “It’s the election, erection for your protection” and “It’s the ultimate stimulus package for hard times.”

You see, Bloomberg isn’t upset at the Obama Condom per se. He’s upset because Mr. Andujar isn’t kicking upstairs to the city coffers, which are in dire need incoming cash.  Thus, we have a classic case of pay to play.

My advice to Andujar is to buy the vending license from the city and offer a new product: the Bloomberg ‘it will help you with that bike lane’ Condom.  However, in order to satisfy Furher Mike, he may have to go 50/50 on that one.