My New Doctor

How Drunk Do You Have To Be To Get The Joke

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age.  A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’

The doctor responded by asking, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?’

‘Oh no,’ I replied . . . ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’

Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?’ “I said, ‘Not much since my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’

‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’ ‘No, I don’t,’ I said.

He asked, ‘Do you gamble, go on vacations or have a lot of sex?’ ‘No,’ I said.

He looked at me and said, . . . ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?

(Hat Tip: Jennifer Maher Browne)