15 Covers You Love To Hate By Guest Blogger Kiko Jones

The Con

What a day gang, talking to the Taxman, discovering all new forms for an all new tax year and discovering why accountants are such nerds from the day they are meticulously, written and filed in triplicate in a filing cabinet that will be one they theirs, born.

The circular discussions about W-2’s, pieces of paper and semantics I’m not quite sure I understood took so long, I almost missed my posting deadline. My apologies. Thusly I rearranged a few things, tossed a few chicken bones and prayed to Dylan Thomas Patron Saint of all Literary Drunks for guidance and strength. So fortified, I offer you a guest blog today from fellow music geek and friend Kiko Jones.

Today’s topic, 15 Covers You Love To Hate; tomorrow, the (woeful) brain of Justin Bieber.

Enjoy!

Britney Spears “Satisfaction” (Rolling Stones)

Simply atrocious.

Celine Dion “You Shook Me All Night Long” (AC/DC)

Misguided beyond belief.

Mariah Carey “Bringing on the Heartbreak” (Def Leppard)

Pointlessly lame.

Panky y Los Manolos “Los Placeres” (Luis Dias)

Gracias, pero no, gracias.

Limp Bizkit “Behind Blue Eyes” (The Who)

What was the point? For Fred Durst to make a video in which he could kiss Halle Berry? (OK, I woulda done that, too. Cover still sucks, tho.)

Fine Young Cannibals “Ever Fallen in Love?” (Buzzcocks)

Talk about sucking the life out of a tune.

Hilary Duff “My Generation” (The Who)

(See Britney)

Take That “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Nirvana)

Unbelievably lame.

Limp Bizkit “Faith” (George Michael)

“Yeah, we’ll look cool by making this one heavy.” Nope.

Scissor Sisters “Comfortably Numb” (Pink Floyd)

Someone said you have to hate a song to cover it this way. I agree.

The Streets “Your Song” (Elton John)

Akin to your tone-deaf lousy singing cousin’s performance on karaoke night being released out into the world..

Macy Gray feat. ODB “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” (Elton John)

I dig both of these folks (RIP-ODB) but this cover is plain awful.

Chris Cornell “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson)

The beginning of the end.

William Hung “She Bangs” (Ricky Martin)

I know: a bad cover of a bad song. But…damn!

Charly Garcia “Influenza” (Todd Rundgren)

The original is a diamond in the rough which didn’t shine until Todd himself rearranged it years later, but Charly’s version is the sound of a fan paying tribute while too bored or lazy to copy it verbatim or add anything to it.