The Vultures and the Jewish Question

Asshole’s Anonymous

I gave up using drugs in the early part of 1993 and except for one notable slip in 1997 the only drug I’ve touched has been booze. Even my ‘slip’ wasn’t of the “I’m a victim of addiction just like Lindsay Lohan” variety. I was having a historically bad week – lost my job, girlfriend et al. I decided the only way to properly blow all the bad vibes/thoughts/shit out of my brain was to drop some acid.

Unfortunately, my street copping skills had eroded in the ensuing four years. Thus, I decided, mostly due for convenience, to purchase this LSD from the douche bag dealers who worked the outer doorways of King Tut’s Wah Wah Hut at Ave. A and 7^th Street. A remarkably stupid idea for someone who’s PhD. is/was in street pharmaceuticals – acquisition and usage and the acid I copped from those pissants who worked the NYU crowd proved to be everything it should have been – mostly strychnine.

So, instead of discovering the universal truth in the fifth hour, forgetting it in the sixth and finding myself hungry in the seventh, I sat in my apartment paranoid for eight long hours. Since that fateful 60 degree day in mid January, 1997 I have never had the urge to go back and enter the drug scene as a consumer.

Every now and then I read something that makes me wonder if the rest of the world isn’t on some sort of hallucinogenic. Today’s bit of bad craziness comes from the BBC:

Saudi Arabia ‘detains’ Israeli vulture for spying

Saudi Arabian officials have “detained” a vulture on accusations of being a spy for Israel, media reports say.

The griffon vulture was carrying a GPS transmitter bearing the name of Tel Aviv University, prompting rumours it was part of a Zionist plot.

Israeli wildlife officials dismissed the claims as ludicrous and expressed concern about the bird’s fate.

Last month, Egyptian officials implied the Israeli spy agency Mossad was to blame for shark attacks off its coast.

The vulture, which can have a wing span of up to 265cm (8ft 8in), was caught after it landed in the desert city of Hyaal a few days ago.

When locals discovered the GPS transmitter, they suspected the worst and handed it over to the security forces, said Israel’s Ma’ariv newspaper.

Conspiracy theories quickly began circulating in Saudi newspapers and on websites that the bird was involved in espionage.

‘Terrible price’

Israeli officials told Ma’ariv they were “stunned” by the allegations and concerned that the bird could meet a horrible punishment in the notoriously severe Saudi justice system.

I hope they release the poor thing”

Unnamed official

Israeli Park and Nature Authority

“The device does nothing more than receive and store basic data about the bird’s whereabouts, and about his altitude and speed,” a bird specialist at Israel’s Park and Nature Authority told the newspaper.

The data would be used to improve understanding of the endangered species’ behaviour.

“Now, this poor bird is paying a terrible price. That’s very sad,” said the unnamed expert.

“I hope they release the poor thing.”

The vulture is the latest animal to be accused of being an unwitting Mossad operative.

In December, the governor of Egypt’s South Sinai province, Mohamed Abdul Fadil Shousha, suggested the spy agency may have had a hand in a string of deadly shark attacks off the coast of the Sharm el-Sheikh resort.

He said it was “not out of the question” that Mossad had put the killer shark in the area.

The Israeli foreign ministry dismissed that allegation, saying the governor “must have seen Jaws one time too many, and confuses fact and fiction”.

No wonder I stopped using drugs. It’s getting harder and harder to who’s straight and who’s using.