The Spreadable Four-Martini Lunch

The Street Hustle

One of the casualties of the current economic downturn has been the four-martini lunch. There are those who claim this daily corporate ritual went the way of the dinosaurs when the Go-Go ‘80’s crashed headlong into the Grunge I’m so Depressed 1990’s. I’m here to tell you, it just ain’t true.

As long as the economy was on semi-solid footing, a lunchtime bartender in a busy business district could be assured of making his or her rent inside of a week. The expense accounts are always teaming when the Dow is shooting up and out of sight.

Now, with housing crunch deepening and various experts predicting the ever dreaded ‘double dip recession,’ how is a corporate lackey supposed to tie one on during business hours?

According to, Cherith Valley Jellies has the solution.

Consider your basic PB&J.

A simple pleasure, impossible to improve on. You’ve got your peanut butter, sure. Your bread. Your jelly. Easy.

Well, forget that jelly. That jelly is old news. That jelly isn’t boozy…

Which brings us to Cherith Valley Jellies, a collection of boozy jelly made from mixed drinks, brandy and wine, available now.

It all begins in a humble garden deep in the heart of Texas, where they pride themselves on doing things the American way—like finding a reason to combine alcohol with anything. There, a team of highly trained, gingham-clad cowgirl-chemists is working solely on your behalf, concocting the ideal way to spice up your next dinner party, peanut-butter sandwich and/or jelly-wrestling party: booze-flavored jelly.

In short, it looks like any other kind of jelly, except instead of being made from your basic strawberries or grapes, it’s been built out of actual, honest Texas medicine (aka booze). So the next time you’re whipping up a PB&J, you can add in a hint of spreadable sangria, red wine or brandy. But before you get carried away, just know that this stuff isn’t powerful enough to lead to a regrettable (if sandwich-filled) morning-after.

Still: don’t eat and drive.

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Thus American innovation attempts to put another American tradition out to pasture.  Although I still prefer to actually drink my Manhattan’s.

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