Roger Clemens Indicted For Lying To People Who Lie For A Living

The Con

Yesterday, Roger Clemens was indicted by a federal Grand Jury for perjury. During his 2008 (voluntary) testimony in front of a House committee on the use of steroids, prosecutors claim Clemens lied and obstructed the investigation.

Roger Clemens has already been found guilty in the court of public opinion. Fortunately for him, an indictment is not a conviction. For the record, I do believe he used steroids. I also think Clemens believes because he was (arguably) the greatest pitcher of a generation he can get away with lying while under oath. But what has Clemens actually done wrong?

According to, an indictment is a formal accusation initiating a criminal case, presented by a grand jury and usually required for felonies and other serious crimes.

And a report says The six-count indictment alleges that Clemens obstructed a congressional inquiry with 15 different statements made under oath, including denials that he had ever used steroids or human growth hormone.”

So, Roger Clemens used HGH and Steroids to gain a competitive edge that MLB says is against the rules. He then lied to Congress about using those drugs in baseball games.

Although guilty on both counts, why are we allowing the NEARLY BANKRUPT federal government to waste money on this bullshit? His first sin should simply keep Clemens from gaining admittance to the Hall of Fame. As for the heinous felony of lying to Congress about using performance enhancing drugs in a FUCKING GAME who cares? Those fuckers on the Hill lie to us, their bosses, all the time.

If I were a more paranoid man, I’d want to know what the government was trying to get over while giving this weak shit a major PR push. But hey, that’s just me.

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