Slither D-Backs!

The Street Hustle

Morgan Quinto Press released an interesting study in 2006-07: a ranking of the “ states from smartest to dumbest. Vermont ranks as smartest with Arizona bringing up the rear. (My home state of New York didn’t make the top 15 and the People’s Republic of California comes in at 47.)

Arizona, the home of Barry Goldwater, various CEO’s and Bud Selig is the dumbest state in the Union? Can these rankings be true? In the view of this bartender this is no doubt: absofuckinglutely. Not only is the populous of the Grand Canyon State unable to order properly (as I have previously blogged, the folks do things in the Sonoran desert, they do not ask to eat menu items), they can’t get the actions of their own indigenous animal kingdom correct.

Yesterday I attended my first Arizona Diamondback’s baseball game. During the 9-4 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals, the scoreboard blew DA DA DA DADA DA CHARGE several times at the bottom of each inning. Maybe someone should remind the brain surgeons who own the team their nickname comes from a rattlesnake.

Rattlesnakes don’t charge, they slither.