Murphy’s Nails

How Drunk Do You Have to Be to Get the Joke?

As tomorrow is Kill the Jew Friday, I thought a joke for the season might be in order.

Murphy was sent to the US from County Kerry, Ireland at a young age to receive his education.By the time he was 32, Murphy was a successful Wall Street banker when word of his father’s death reached him from the Old Country.His inheritance included the family’s tool and die business.

Murphy confided in his friend Rabinowich, an advertising wiz, and his desire to make this business the largest tool and die maker in the whole of Ireland.Rabinowich offered to help his friend.

“What’s your major product,” he asked Murphy.

“Nails, screws, nuts and bolts.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you the largest tool and die maker in Ireland and then in Europe,” Rabinowich told Murphy.

Three weeks later, Murphy was taking his wife and mother to Paris.As he walked through Shannon Airport, he noticed a billboard with Christ on the cross.The copy underneath Jesus’ feet read ‘Brought to You by Murphy’s Nails.’

We he got to Paris, Murphy called Rabinowich in New York.“What are you trying to do to me,” he screamed.“My grandmother left me five messages telling me shoe won’t talk to me anymore.The parish priest called me and excommunicated me from the church.I’ve never met the guy.”

“Controversy sells,” Rabinowich countered.

“My wife told me I’m sleeping on the couch, FORVER.Fuck your controversy.”

“Relax,” Rabinowich told Murphy.“When will you be back in New York?”

“In a week.”

“Ill have it fixed long before then,” Rabinowich said.

Five days later Murphy ran through Shannon Airport and found the offending billboard.This time, he was relieved to find a simple gold cross on a black background.However, when he looked down, he saw Christ crumpled at the bottom of the cross.The tag line below read ‘you should have used Murphy’s nails.’