If Only It Were True

Assholes Anonymous

This landed in my e-mail box yesterday.

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Congressman Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.  Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

On the back of the picture (above) Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: ‘Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.’

Believe it or not, Harry Reid’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

“Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.”

I roared with laughter. Talk about political spin! It made me wonder how I could ever run for political office when two members of the Purple Gang attended both my bris and bar mitzvah. I suppose I could say I had two founders of the modern day state of Israel as dear family friends. The far left and right of both parties hate the Jews so that would keep me as a perfect dead center candidate. Finally, there was something interesting about that damn socialist from Nevada.

If only it were true.

The politician’s Horse Thief Ancestor is an urban myth that was first circulated on the Internet a decade ago. According to snopes.com both Tipper Gore and Hillary Rodham Clinton were said to have this outlaw as kin in 2000 and Joe Biden in 2009. (The picture is of Tom “Black Jack” Ketchum.) Even the biographical sketch dates from the same hoax directed at Stephane Dion, the leader of Quebec’s Liberal Party in 2008.

Until the ObamaCare fiasco Reid was undistinguished and boring; two qualities that would seem to assure a long run as US Senate Majority Leader. It’s a shame the allegations turned out to be false. Frumpy, professorial Harry Reid might actually have been able to get laid in a Vegas brothel if only they were true.

Facing a hostile electorate who appears to be bent on throwing incumbents out on their asses in November, Harry Reid needs all the help he can get to seem interesting,not boring, aloof and above the common man.  Here’s a thought for Senator Reid’s PR machine: perhaps you could try the Catherine the Great route. Bestiality could play well in the Midwest.