Why She Really Left Me As Told by Alan Wieder

Assholes Anonymous

A few years back, my ex-fiance Jan and I were having a long overdue relationship post mortem during a drunken 3am infra dig phone conversation.  I asked how the sex was with her new husband.


“Ok,” she replied.


“Is he better in bed than I am?”


“No.  We had great sex,’ she said, I’m sure lying to build up my confidence.  “There are only two kinds of men I sleep with: rich and hung.  Honey, you are a bartender.  You aren’t rich and you sure aren’t hung.”


I wondered why she left me for this golfer so in my semi-hammered stupor; I made the mistake of asking the next question.  If we had ‘great sex’ why did she leave me?


“My husband is hung.  But we did have great sex,” she said.  In past moments like these, her southern accent was comforting.  Here it was like a knife.  She left me because I’m not hung.   I’m average in many things and in cock size slightly below.  But is that a reason to leave a man? 


Of course, my ego was wounded and I forgot the ‘real’ reason we broke up: she didn’t want to live in New York full time and, at that point, I wasn’t about to leave.  (I’m currently residing in Scottsdale, Arizona but more on that next week.)  The wounded male ego being what it is, I went into a panic.  Did having a smallish cock mean I’d never meet someone?  Would it hold me back from getting married?  Did I have a size flaw in my delivery system that would keep me from getting someone pregnant? 


I was bothered for weeks, looking measuring with the space between my thumb and forefinger.  No rulers or tape measures of course.  I had no desire to know the truth. 


Alan Wieder feels the same way.  He wrote an essay entitled “13 Great Things About Having A Small Penis” for Asylum.com.  Not only did Wieder have a similar panic but he actually measured the size of his member thus becoming my new hero.


Check out Alan’s fabulous book The Year of the Cock as well.  Who knew there can be redemption in leaving the wife? 

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