GPS For Drunks

The Street Hustle

GPS technology is changing the world. Parents are no loner frantically searching shopping malls for lost children. Somewhere on their clothing is a Digital Child Tracker. There are GPS devices for laptops, dogs, hikers, cars, cameras etc. Now, there is a GPS for beer. reports a ‘new step in beer technology,’ the Beer Pager. The pager looks like a coaster that attaches to the bottom of your beer. If you happen to lose track of where you put can, bottle or pint, press the button on your remote control and you will find your drink.

No longer will frustrated drunks tear up bars and party rooms looking for their misplaced beverage. Now, fights and destruction will break out because of old-fashioned reasons: alcohol is feeding the assholes. I’m sure the Bar Bouncer’s Union is pleased.

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