Schlitz Makes A Comeback
The Con
A Quick Note: This blog marks my first giveaway. Send me your story about getting hammered on Schlitz or any other bad domestic beer and tell me how and why it fits into the Zola System. The story that I like best gets posted and the author will receive a brand new Zola System T-Shirt. The contest ends on Saturday Augsut 9, 2008.
In his July 10, 2008 Washington Post Op/Ed column, George Will is at his whimsical, analytical best. Entitled “Survival of the Sudsiest,” he pushes forth the theory – derived from the Steven Johnson’s book The Ghost Map: The Story of London’s Most Terrifying Epidemic — and How It Changed Science, Cities, and the Modern World – that beer and alcohol consumption helped save London (maybe the world) from a Cholera epidemic as we became creatures of the urban environment. The book and article are fascinating reads for any foodie or person interested in the development of modern culture.
This, then, came across the AP wire two days ago: “Long Dormant Schlitz Back On Tap.” That is correct, the ‘Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous’ and launched many a teenage hangover has made it’s return, hoping for some of the market share Pabst Blue Ribbon now has. (Both beers are owned by the Pabst Brewing Company.) I can just see the signs outside the bars on 2nd Avenue on the Upper East Side now – bottle of Schlitz and a shot of Tequila for $5 – beckoning for the cheap drinker or those who love that metallic aftertaste.
I remember when Detroit’s own Stroh’s Brewery bought Schlitz back in the mid ‘80’s. Everyone assumed it was to help the failing brand retrieve its former glory as the beer that Laverne and Shirley brewed in the 1950’s (Called Schotz Beer in the sitcom). Actually, Stroh’s had no desire to fix the Schlitz recipe or revive the brand at all. They bought the competition to close the down Schlitz and increase its market share but that’s all semantics. Stroh’s claimed the beer was an inferior brew to the beer that was the most popular in the world from 1900-the 1950’s. The brewery shut down and was turned into an office complex complete with a school and restaurants.
So now, as Schlitz is being slowly re-introduced to the Midwestern market it once defined, the marketing dept. of Pabst has chosen to put forth a nostalgia driven ad campaign.
According to the AP article:
Nostalgia could prove a driving factor in sales, Koteck (President of Pabst) said. Pabst is certainly using it in its marketing, reusing its ’60s-era advertisements urging drinkers to “Go For the Gusto” and simple maroon and gold packaging, marked with fanciful script. (Parentheses added by AZ)
Yes, you should remember fondly the times, places and people you were with when you were drinking Schlitz or Stroh’s or a great 1973 Barolo. (It was at Felidia in October of 2001. My friend was the Sommollier. I can still taste the casis and blackberry fruit. It helped take the sting out of 9/11.) But re-branding Schlitz with nostalgia for the 1900-1960’s? What are we supposed to be nostalgic about? One of the beers that got us through four wars, Jim Crow and the botched electrocution of Willie Francis? Why don’t they just get Cuba Gooding Jr. to hold a bottle of Schlitz and scream “Show Me The Money!” for the next horrible Super Bowl commercial?
Alcohol, more specifically beer and wine, helped save modern society by giving us something other than contaminated water to drink. It helped strengthen the gene pool (Can’t hold your booze? Say the wrong thing to the wrong person? Hit on the wrong person at the wrong time? You have a huge issue usally ending in a violent demise, even back in the day.) and encouraged social interaction.
However, don’t drink Schlitz because of some nostalgia con. No, drink it for this reason: you get hammered on it once more, wake up with that mettalic taste in your mouth and brutal headache and you will remember why you gave up drinking Schlitz and switched to Guinness in the first place.
Drink it for the former and you get conned. Drink it for the latter and you up hold modern society and Darwian theory. The choice my friend is yours.
Ads
Denizens of the Zola System
- A Visual Identity
- Ashley Morris
- Clip It Baby
- CNN
- Dennis Machinegun Thompson
- Detroit Free Press
- Detroit News
- e3 Your LIfe
- Fox News
- Henry Mena
- Hollywood Gem
- Jewish World Review
- Jimmy Fallon
- Mick Farren
- New York Daily News
- New York Post
- New York Times
- Open Salon
- Sacred Fools Theatre
- Scoop Momma
- Skip Williamson
- SPIN Magazine
- The Blacklisted Journalist
- The Choke
- The Financially Troubled Arizona Republic
- The Los Angeles Times
- The Nearly Famous Barry Young Show
- The Purple Gang
- The Wall Street Journal
- The Washington Post
- The Washington Times
Categories
- Alpha Female/Beta Male
- Assholes Anonymous
- Character Sundays
- Detroit Stories
- G-d's Guide To Home Appliance Repair and Sports Betting
- How Drunk Do You Have To Be To Get The Joke?
- Jimmy Fallon
- Overheard in a Los Angeles Bar
- Overheard in a New York Bar
- Overheard on the Subway
- Post Urban Culture
- Quotes from How To Fix a Horserace
- Rachel Kramer Bussel
- Skip Williamson
- Sleaze Culture
- The Best of the Zola System
- The Con
- The Core Belief
- The First Essential Scary Truth
- The Magic Bullet Theory
- The Martini Chronicles
- The Second Essential Scary Truth
- The Street Hustle
- The Summer Of 1992
- The Zola System In Action
- The Zola System On The Road
- Uncategorized
- What's in Your Fridge?
Archives
- February 2017
- May 2016
- May 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- March 2014
- January 2014
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008