Is Your Spirit Ready To Meet God’ell? By Guest Blogger Scot Zola

The Con

There is a chance that the now famous blackout of Super Bowl XLVII was related to Kelley Rowland’s hot, high powered halftime show featuring Beyonce and Michelle Williams (that’s right, K.R. is the hot one of the group, has the best voice and looked the best teddy-clad in leather) … or maybe not.  It was probably an unlikely event that, whatever the cause, had no effect on the outcome of the game… or maybe not.

I tend to agree with the old Steven Wright joke – There was a power outage in the department store yesterday. Twenty people were stuck on escalators –  I can’t believe people care.  Since The Zola System is the web authority on unlikely conspiracies at this point, I give this bit of factual reporting to the group.

And it came to pass, one night, in a stadium in New Orleans…

“I have seen these people, the football fan” God’ell said, “and they are a stiff-necked people”

And when he turned and went down the tunnel into the stadium for halftime, God’ell replied: “It is not the sound of victory, it is not the sound of defeat; it is the sound of singing that I hear.”

When God’ell approached midfield he saw the Queen B, and her children of destiny, and the football fan dancing, and his anger burned, for this was not football.

And God’ell struck the people with a plague because of what they did at the halftime show.

And God’ell said, “A disaster will come upon you, and you will not know how to conjure it away. A calamity will fall upon you that you can only ward off with a ransom.”

“I form stars and create darkness, I make peace and create evil. I the God’ell do all these things.”

Then God’ell lifted his hand toward the rafters and the Superdome was enveloped in darkness. A darkness so thick you could feel it.

And Baltimore was unable to roll the 49ers, and the teams played closer to the point spread.

God’ell saw that it was good.

And God’ell said, “Let there be light” and there was light.

And God’ell separated between the light and between the darkness, and God’ell saw the light was good.

And it came to pass that the NFL extended the number of commercials it could sell, and social media prospered. And the football fan was lifted up and brought to a land of milk and Oreos in place of the basketball fan and of the hockey fan.

As there game continued along, suddenly in a firestorm, a Bentley – rubino red with 600 horses appeared and separated him from the others, and God’ell was carried by a whirlwind to to South Florida or the Bahamas or wherever all those jerks who made money getting me to watch the game, go on vacation.

— Scot Zola


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