Michigan Supports The Bathroom Bobbitt

The Con

Sometimes, when I go to use a bar bathroom, I find myself strangely unable to piss.  Perhaps it’s the amount of traffic in and out of the carze or the sounds of blow and blowjobs from the stalls next to me and across the way.  Whatever the reason, my schmuck gets stage fright.  So in order to pump out the piss, I have to seriously concentrate.

And now, just in time for the 4^th of July, the state of Michigan has decided to add another distraction: talking urinal cakes.

(From the San Francisco Chronicle)

DETROIT (AP) — Michigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special bathroom message.

The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.

The messages are part of a statewide Fourth of July education and enforcement effort. A kickoff is planned Monday at Detroit pub The Old Shillelagh.

The federally funded drunken driving crackdown runs through July 8. It also includes stepped up patrols in 26 counties involving local police, county deputies and state troopers.

Talking urinal cakes have been used in other states for similar efforts.

I don’t’ know if this will curtail drunk driving or freak out various Millenials whom are performing fellatio.  If the latter turns out to be true, I forsee lots and lots of twenty-something Bobbittings.