Conspiracy Theories and Mark Felt

 

The Second Essential Scary Truth

Mark Felt is dead at the age of 95.

By this point, the story of the man who was ‘Deep Throat’ has been posted, published, promulgated, mulled over, turned over again and again and then finally subject to the moronic news analysts and their ilk.

In truth, Felt was a rat who – either helped to topple a corrupt administration or was out for revenge after not being made the Director of the FBI after the death of J. Edgar Hoover. 

No matter which side of the argument you fall on, Mark Felt was a major player in the history of the United States.  His decision to help Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein as they followed the Watergate money and paper trail was so monumental of it will forever be debated by the populous at large as long as there is a history teacher among the human species.

His death, however, is now being debated in certain circles as possibly something other than just the natural death of a man who’s body had finally given out at the age of 95.  These people are in a rarified group known as conspiracy theorists. 

For the record, I don’t know what they are coming up with yet, although Felt was Jewish so I’m certain the Aryan Nation, most Muslims and the American Far Left have many ideas about Felt and what his real motivations were. 

Me?  I happen to dig Richard Belzer so here is my paranoid take on the natural death of ‘Deep Throat.’

Mark Felt was murdered by the Hollywood Corporate big wigs in order to help promote their new “Independent darling” feature entitled Frost/Nixon.  The economic times are tough and the dollar isn’t going as far as it used to.  Hence, Felt’s death means more tickets sold.  Therefore the box office take will rise.

Perhaps, there is even the vague whisper of a leftist murder of Felt so this movie can further discredit Richard Nixon.  Nixon was a favorite whipping boy and now many of his ideas, like a national health plan, are being brought back into play.  You can’t have any Republican looking like a good guy.

Or maybe the right wants to focus on Nixon so they killed Felt and are going to have their radio outlets and FOX News destroy Frost/Nixon.

I don’t believe any of it.  We plan and pray.  However, all events happen in G-d’s time.  True, but the headshot came from the Grassy Knoll.

Sleep well, Mark Felt, we’ll catch up on Judgment Day.