Playing Checkers With Death

Sleaze Culture

On the second college football Saturday of the season, I’d like to discuss life and art as seen through the eyes of two men from the great state of Colorado.

But first, allow me to pose this question: what would you do if you walked into a friend’s apartment to find said friend collapsed on the floor, unresponsive, cold, quite possibly dead.  Call 911, CPR, or run out screaming and call for someone anyone to help are the ideas that come to mind.

The ‘dudes’ in question found themselves in that exact situation on August 28, 2011.  Their response to such a disquieting scene was just a little bit out of the standard reaction box.

(From the New York Daily News)

It was “Weekend At Bernie’s” meets “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead.”

A pair of Colorado men were busted after driving around Denver with their dead friend in the backseat – and using his ATM card to finance a Friday night drinking binge, authorities said.

Robert Young, 43, and Mark Rubinson, 25, were arrested after cops discovered their dead pal on Aug. 28.

According to police, Young and Rubinson loaded an unresponsive Jeffrey Jarrett into a car around 11 p.m. and drove to Teddy T’s – a local bar/restaurant.

With Jarrett, 43, dead inside the vehicle, the two men used his ATM card to drink for an hour on their late pal’s tab. From there, they stopped at the Sam’s No. 3 bar/restaurant before heading back to Jarrett’s home and lugging his body inside.

Still armed with the ATM card, Young and Rubinson zipped to Viva Burrito for a bite to eat and a strip club named Shotgun Willie’s, authorities said.

The pair withdrew $400 from the cash machine at the pole-dancing palace, authorities said.

Finally, at about 4 a.m., the pair flagged down a police officer to report their pal was probably dead. Cops responded, and found Jarrett’s body at his home.

“This is a bizarre and unfortunate crime,” Police Department spokesman Sonny Jackson told the Denver Post.

“This isn’t anything you want to have happen to a loved one. You want them treated with respect in death.”

Both men were free on bond. Neither was charged in Jarrett’s death, but they face charges of abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation.

The cause of Jarrett’s death was undetermined pending toxicology tests, authorities said.

There are those who would say this is a case of life imitating art.  However, I was unaware that Weekend At Bernie’s, grade Z by the numbers situation comedy spread out into a two hour film, is art.  On the other hand, I’m sure Death had no desire to play chess with two men who essentially went looking for a cop to admit to abusing a corpse, theft from the dead and identity theft immediately after the act.

Perhaps they could have played Twister or Battleship.