The al-Qaeda 9 v. The Boston Red Sox

The Second Essential Scary Truth

As of September 2, 2011, the Boston Red Sox have the best record in the American League.  Because of their record and their notoriety in the baseball world, MLB has asked the Red Sox to play a friendly best 5 of 7 series in Fenway Park against a team identified only as the al-Qaeda 9.

The al-Qaeda 9 have been playing in the fledgling Abbottabad Professional Baseball League since it’s inception five years ago.  Thanks to their Pakistani renowned pitching staff, the 9 have won 4 of the five league titles.

Al-Qaeda 9’s manager, a tall lean man of Saudi descent named Osama is setting up his rotation in an attempt to hold down Boston’s awesome tailored to the home park offense.  Early reports go something like this: Y. Arafat (r), his ace will pitch Game 1. Followed by wily knuckleballer A. Kohmeni (l). S. Hussein (r), Nasser (r) and Atta (l) round out Osama’s vaunted starting 5. They’re all junk-ballers although they have sub 4.30 ERA’s.

I think the al-Qaeda 9 should make a go of it…although they have announced their intention to throw at 3B Kevin Youkilis every time up. You know how those boys in Abbottabad feel about Jews.

(Hat Tip: Kiko Jones.)


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